The "Maleny" Folding Table

Excerpt from the Hinterland Grapevine - 03.03.2006

MALENY is now famous for something other then developments thanks to the new Maleny Table.

Maleny officially has a table named after it, thanks to busy community volunteer Michael Howard (you may also know him as the fat postman). Michael was looking into buying new tables for the Maleny Community Centre (MCC). He phoned a friend who suggested Lifetime Industries. Michael said he phoned the Sydney-based company and told them he needed some tables. They said they were importing a new tables that was so strong it could hold 500 kilograms of timber. And they were only $70. Great, Michael thought.

With the support of the Maleny CWA, the MCC obtained a $500 grant from Caloundra City Council. “They’re going to be really good for fat people to dance on,” Michael thought. However, when calling the company back to order, the sales staff weren’t sure which table he was talking about. “The ones you put the wood on. The $70 tables,” Michael said. Having totally confused the sales staff Michael was put through to the boss. “You’re that country bumpkin,” he said. “Yeah, that’s me, from on top of the hill,” Michael said. “We want some of those $70 tables, but I need to know what model number to put on the order form.” The boss said the tables had only just arrived and they didn’t have a name or a model number. “Can we name it?” Michael said. “Can you call it the Maleny Table.” Lifetime Industries agreed.

Because Maleny got the naming rights, and because Michael was representing a community group, Lifetime industries donated two tables for free. MCC is now rid of its old heavy tables and in their place have brand new ones, which I’m told anyone can lift. Michael called in compulsive volunteers Joan Benson and Bridget Sparks to test out the theory. Joan, who moonlights as a shuttle-cock for the Olympic badminton team, used just one arm to pick up the table – she was carrying her hand-bag in the other. Previously one of Big Bird’s feathers, Bridget Sparks also had no problem lifting the table. “Some of the seniors wanted to test out the tables for table top dancing dancing,” Michael said. “But we had to turn them down because it was too undignified.”

Seizing on the opportunity to promote the hinterland, information centre coordinator, Bridget Sparks is now negotiating rights for the Montville Umbrella and Maleny Arts President, Joan Benson’s working on the Witta wine rack.    

 “I was impressed with the company’s quick response.” Michael said “The tables were delivered in just two days and the web was updated in minutes to feature the new Maleny Table.” The tables will be available at Maleny Community Centre for all the functions. Thanks to their weight, setting up for events will be much easier for everyone involved. But just remember girls, no table top dancing. Check out the website to see the Maleny Table at www.lifetime.net.au/